Today’s journey involved reflective thought about the key points in our life that helped define who we are, especially in relation to our leadership skills. I spent all morning happily going through my past, quite proud of my achievements and the obstacles I have overcome. I even tried to craft the crap out of my “River of Life” display. This ended up with me just putting some post-it notes on a piece of paper with a river drawn in it. I am a walking Pinterest “FAIL”.
I identified the two key events in my life as:
- meeting my husband
- becoming a mom
There are many examples of my leadership, but truly the day I met Josh is the day my life really began. Man, I get an “F” on my feminism for that statement. It’s true though, I felt lost and confused and had no idea who I was and then I met a person who got me on a level I didn’t even get myself. I am sure I would have went borderline all over his ass, but he never left or gave me a chance to. He is the yin to my yang, the ice cream to my pie, the…well he is balance. We just fit and all of our achievements (and failures) were done together. Wind beneath my wings and all that stuff.
Becoming a mom was the beginning of my fall but also the best thing I ever did. I learn so much through my kids and they give me something to lead every day. I run my family, maybe into the ground, but I run my family. I may be a community leader, but my true place of leadership is having those eyes watch me all the time. Through me they have learned to emote they feel they need to. They have learned that it’s okay to make mistake and to always grow and learn. They also learned a few choice swear words, but to be fair they would have learned them from the internet anyway.
So while I was waiting in my course to listen to the stories of all these amazing women, I got a call that I regret answering. It went something like this:
Phone: Hey, this is the Canada Revenue Service. We just wanted to remind you that we are likely going to take your house away from you unless something drastic changes in the next month.
Me: Okay thanks for the reminder. I missed you too.
My day was interrupted. This was not news to me, I knew the good, bad and ugly of me going on this once in a lifetime opportunity, but having reality creep into my day really threw me off. I worked hard to listen with intent to each woman’s story. I was continually amazed to see the common elements and the unique circumstances that brought each woman to the here and now.
I chose not to share my story. I was fighting tears both from the CRA phone call but also from how touched I was by these women. The fact that I already have a book about my story also helped. We were running late anyway, and I just wanted to get out of there and feel sorry for myself and my CRA interruption.
Alas, no feeling sorry for myself. An interruption or small hiccup in plans does not give me the right to mope and become unproductive. In fact, this phone call created even more motivation in me to finish this course, and to finish my new mini-book, “It Doesn’t Suck”. Ironically I think my writings are becoming reality because I am facing the CRA, my entire financial situation with optimism and positivist. I know great things are coming and my job is to focus, work hard and also create some kick ass opportunities for both me and my community.
Nice try CRA, but I am still smiling. I am writing. I am story telling. I am reflecting, learning and growing. For now we have heat, water and a roof over our heads and not everyone in the world can say that. Move forward with positivity, work hard and results will come.