I am rocking social media lately. Having worked with a mentor, Ms. Abby Hagyard (publisher, writer, star of 80’s television sensation You Can’t Do That on Television) I have been “toning down my aggression”. I am still a feminist, I still get angry at social injustices, but I rant less. With my weight loss and my visioning for my future, I have to focus on what is positive. I need to do this because my upcoming mini-book series “It Doesn’t Suck” does just that. So people have seen a kinder, gentler Jenn Hayward, both on stage and off.
I average 5-10 Facebook friend requests a day. Only two of them are from Dubai and call me their “future princess”. These friend requests come from the following categories:
- Comedy: Either other comedians or people who enjoy my work. (These two do not always intersect)
- Women’s Networking: I have joined many networking groups, online and in person. Yes i leave my house every now and then.
- People who know me from past day jobs, past school, the Aboriginal community, long lost relatives and relatives who have recently unblocked me due to my kinder, gentler status.
- People who want to see amazing shots of cleavage.
So my friends list grows, my twitter followers increases and I still don’t know how to work LinkedIN. I also have YouTube and Instagram. Yep, social media has been good to me.
Well hang on now, here is the trouble. All these new people are not that screened by myself. I am an open book, so if we have mutual friends, you are in. Then something happens, I do get the odd rant back in me, or tell a joke about my vagina, or provide an opinion on something I don’t find controversial (such as food allergies) and get bombarded with “you are evil” or “dumb ass” or “I respectfully disagree” comments. That’s okay, it’s part and parcel of having social media. Having respectful conversations on social media is not always easy, but unless it’s overt racism, I try to be respectful. The trouble is, even when I try to discuss something gently, other’s don’t always take it that way and I end up having to use the block feature more often than not. To be fair, I am pretty sure other’s use it on me a bit as well. That is okay, we should all be able to enjoy our time on the computer and social media, and if someone triggers me, they are out and if I trigger someone else, they cut me out. This is how social media and mental health work together. Not all of my facebook friends will agree with me on everything, but if we can have respectful dialogue then who cares.
All that said, I have decided to provide a list of my opinions on things. I won’t be ranting about them often, but I figure if any of these are deal breakers for being on social media, then get it out of the way now! My list as follows:
- I am a feminist. I am a Metis feminist. I am a 41 year old Metis feminist who believes in intersection but also believes younger generation feminists who dismiss the work done before them and belittle them in conversations do nothing to further promote women’s equality and sometimes I want to bitch slap them. I don’t, because of the aforementioned feminism.
- I vaccinate my children. I also feed them. Sometimes.
- I am pro choice to pretty much everything, unless it’s my daughter and what she wears. Yes I see the hypocrisy.
- I am a dog person. I could be a cat person if I was sure my dog would not eat said cat, but evidence has shown him to really, really hate cats.
- I am against toe fungus.
- I am pro flossing.
- As a comedian I can make fun of my family, but don’t you even try!
- I believe patriarchy and social stratification is the root of all societal problems, but there is no easy fix to this.
- I really want to be invited to more people’s cottages given I will likely never own one. If you are my fb friend please take this into consideration; yes my children are loud and obnoxious, my husband will fart a lot and he and I will have loud crazy sex on your porch, but still consider us as an option.
- I kind of judge people who have not bought my book. It doesn’t suck.
- I reserve the right to change my opinions as I continue to grow and evolve. Except on flossing.
There you have it, me in a nutshell. If you still want to friend of follow, welcome to my world. I write, post and tweet quite a bit, all for self-expression and to try to get my brand out to a larger audience. I am in transition in my body weight, in my fitness level, in my improving mental health and in my comedy.
I am not for everyone, but those who stick around find that I do in fact, not suck.